How to Care for Your Demon

By Aran Meredith

Pocket guide to properly selling your soul to your friendly neighbourhood trader.

Simply forgetting about all your troubles will yield you nowhere.

Instead of playing hide and seek with your demon, face him head-on, and waltz with him.

Mindful, there might be a learning curve, and a trail of blood behind you. 

That is to say, draw some blood as an aperitif to draw him in.

Self-harm is self-care, self-mutilation is self-love. Self-sacrifice is the most satisfying form of self-love.

This image belongs to Madoka Takadono, Utako Yukihiro/Ichijinsha/Agency King Candidate (the Makai Ouji team), the prose belongs to me.

Do remember when casting the summoning spell, call him by his name. When everything else fails, always resort to singular they to prevent mild misunderstandings due to misgendering.

Dress up and tone down. More specially, dress innocently provocatively,  like elaborately embroidered gown with nothing down there. To create dramatic contrast and keep it interesting.

Peep peep peekaboo. Cast the green bird into your frosted mint hot chocolate. #NotSponsored.

This way, at least both of you may have a good time. With tilting chandelier and comfort music instead of the bored compass and a cacophony of moral inquisitions. 

“What up? You got weed?“

After several tentative rounds, when both of you are tired, feed him shreds of your soul in a piecemeal fashion. Savour the tiny servings and keep it interesting, silly.

Never trade for shiny things, trade for experience always. If you get to bang Magritte and/or Helen, do it. Without hesitation. Now.

Dust to dust, at least you have busted a move before turning to ashes. And that’s enough. 

Hereby I speak authoritatively as someone who wears black op T-shirt with sample size Rogue RPG to insomnia, squats on a polyester Persian rug, while composing classical poetry.

It’s counterproductive to sweep everything under the rug, eventually maggots fly off as carrion flies, and you need to get a new rug.

If you harvest too many skeletons, they will cannibalize the entire space in your closet.

If you don’t deal with your troubles, troubles will eat you. Preferably alive?

At least your fair-trade demon will likely offer a sweet deal. Playing great games is far more satisfying than winning lame games.

The elaborate fanfares of the games people play. People play with people, demon play with people, don’t play with your food.

Don’t forget to offer your beating heart as desert. That’s very nice of you.

Yolo, ya’ll. Yada yada. 

Enjoy the dance.

Disclaimer: demons come in all shapes and sizes, they’re gendering them for the purpose of narrative clarity.