May 6

May 6 Complete Unnecessary Guide to World Domination

For the young and ambitious…

Dedicated to ll Principatibus, compiled with the kind consultation of Haythor the Great Ravenstag, a nightmarish creature that likes to curl to a softball and nap, while the world burns.

Choose your parents wisely. Preferably of the royal or noble family of one of the regional powers.
Have some money or make some money. No need to be excessive as long as it makes you respected and distinguished.
Have a nice face and a good friendly person persona. This had grown more important over time.
Charm donors/ lords to give you money for your noble quest of world domination.
Have a capable and loyal army all the time. Your own force is statistically better than one that is brought or borrowed.
Cultivate an ego that demands a second throne for itself.
Gain a badass headquarter with means of production as base for expansion.
Gather a team of versatile advisors and ministers that depends and relies on you. You are only as good as your cabinet.
Befriend the pope, or even better, make a pope.
Marry for success, make a lot of babies for more successes.
Trust no one.
Tactical alliances with frienemy, they were good while they lasted.
Be cruel to be kind. But it’s pivotal to appear to be kind.
Frame your mission as world government, or united front, world federation etc.
Justice for you, not justice for all.
Brand yourself as the man of the people, but secretly court with the selective elites.
Attach “the Great” as an alias.
Build fantastic phallic architecture and name your cities under your name.
Create a collective interest cohort. Make your people happy sometimes, make your patrons and lackeys happy most of the times.
Do not invade Russia on a whim.
Invest in some novel toys. eg.new bombs, fancy aircraft, trendy tech gadgets to wow people.
Figure out a catch-all just clause that reaps you the moral high ground. Inclusively divisive, decisively dumb and vague. Evoke universal ideal, common good, common identity and destiny.
Hunt for a great second that couldn’t live without you. Promise for smooth succession but whatever.
Admit and publicly propagate that everyone loves a good war.
Always have a nice clown at hand.